They Do What You Do
I remember meeting a man with a pronounced limp who managed it with grace, and even humor. He also had an adorable son who loved his dad so much. In fact, whatever Dad did, his son did his best to copy that behavior. This man told a story of his son asking for his own push lawn mower so he could mow the lawn, just like his dad did. So, Dad went out and bought a child’s lawnmower and presented it to his son. His son proudly took his new prized tool and began to “mow” the yard. What happened next brought the most incredible smile to Dad’s face. As he watched his son “mowing” the lawn, he noticed his son walked with the very same limp he did, except his son had no deformity in his body at all. He was perfect in every way. In fact, he was better than perfect – he was just like his dad, and to him, that was perfect.
What about you? What do your offspring see about you that they want to copy? Often, I think this question is better asked this way: “What do I want my children to say about me when I’m gone?” The simple truth is that what you practice, they will copy. Your example and influence have a far-reaching impact. And the sad thing is, we often do not see how our lives lay a blueprint for our kids’ lives.
Considering this, I have a simple process you can apply to your life tomorrow morning. The process is called “habit stacking.” Maybe you’ve heard this phrase before. Here’s an AI description of habit stacking:
“Habit stacking is a behavioral strategy for building new habits by attaching them to existing, daily routines. The technique involves using a trigger habit to cue a new, desired behavior using the formula: ‘After [current habit], I will [new habit].’ By linking new habits to strong, established neural pathways, habit stacking makes it easier for the brain to adopt new behaviors and build complex routines over time.”
Here’s how I’ve applied this process: Each morning, my alarm goes off a little past 5 a.m. The alarm reminds me to pray with my wife for our family. We have four children, so we have assigned certain days to each one: Courtney’s family on Monday, Zach’s family on Tuesday, etc. After praying for a few moments, the alarm goes off again, and it’s time to get up. When I get up, I reach for my phone. Because I have placed my phone on top of my journal, I know my next step is to journal three things I am thankful for, one thing I will focus on that day, and one thing I am looking forward to in the day. I think you can see where this is going. Each step includes one habit stacked on another throughout the morning, consisting of a devotional time with my wife, reading Scripture (we do a shared YouVersion Plan, including comments to each other at the end of the reading), and journaling a few thoughts.
Why is this important? It’s essential simply for this reason:
You cannot (with integrity) ask your children to do what you don’t do yourself.
For example, talking to your children about God is meaningless if you do not actually talk to God yourself. They observe how you live your everyday life far closer than you know. So, Moms and Dads, can you start the simple process of habit stacking? If so, I strongly recommend adding one simple step at a time. Build up to a routine of behaviors. Rome was not built in a day! Then, when you ask your children to join you for devotions, your request won’t seem like it’s coming out of left field. Instead, they’ll think, “This is what my family does. This is who we are.”
Get ready! Start! One habit at a time.
If you would like me to pray for you as you begin this process, email me a prayer request at erics@worshipcenter.org. You need this in your life, and I guarantee that your children do, too!
Blessings,
Pastor Eric