Parenting Through Adversity
The Awakened by Adversity series, based on the Book of Job, has made us consider the value of adversity in our lives. Pastor Matt mentioned that times of adversity have brought spiritual growth that he otherwise would not have received.
I am sure, like me, you would agree with this thought. It’s not that we wish adversity upon ourselves or our loved ones, but it is hard not to see the spiritual maturity that can come from being tested. Of course, spiritual growth is not always the result of adversity. It comes down to how the adversity is responded to.
A comprehensive reading of the Book of Job would indicate that Job responded well to the first round of adversity but became very challenged by the interpretations his friends gave him of his adversity. Eventually, their interpretations, better said as accusations, became the adversity Job did not respond well to. In fact, Job became very bitter about his situation until God stepped in and made Himself known to Job and his friends.
So, this is all interesting as we read an ancient text about a good man who goes through intense adversity, but what happens when that adversity comes into our life, or the life of one of our children? All kinds of questions and protective thoughts come into our minds in moments of adversity. How we respond makes all the difference, especially as we parent our children through our example.
We must start with the truth of Scripture. And Scripture has a lot to say about adversity. For example, in Job 36:15 we read:
“But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity.”
Knowing this to be true, we have two opportunities to parent our children through adversity:
1 | By being an example.
Titus 2:2 advises older men, “Teach the older men to exercise self-control, be worthy of respect, and live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience.”
Practically, this means responding well amid adversity when an unexpected bill comes, the car breaks down, or a disagreement becomes evident in your home. How do you respond in these moments? With self-control? Or do you respond in ways you will need to ask forgiveness for?
Be certain that the path you take will be one your children repeat in their homes as adults. Choose wisely in these moments or get the counseling help you need to make better decisions, while remembering to ask your family for forgiveness😊 (If you need a counseling reference, feel free to email me.)
2 | Also, be a parent who brings wisdom and compassion alongside your child in their adversity. Your children will need your assurance that their adversity is not permanent, but it can be an opportunity to look at things from a new perspective—even one that God wants to awaken in them. Yet, I caution you to help them see this with gentleness.
I’ll close with this quick story. Years ago, my son Zachary became passionate about attending the Air Force Academy. He did everything needed regarding grades, sports, and leadership to get into the academy. So, when the letter in response to his application came, my wife and I took it to him immediately to open.
We were so excited because we felt his odds for getting in were very good. Instead, the letter informed him that he was wait-listed. In other words, he could be admitted if another cadet who had been accepted backed out. This was a deeply painful moment for our son.
In the meantime, West Point accepted him, but his passion was to be in the Air Force. We sat with our son in his pain and walked through this disappointment together. After much prayer and thought, he attended a civilian college and entered the Air Force via ROTC. As a result, we saw him mature as a follower of Jesus.
He did not react, but he responded to the situation with self-control. Today, he is a Lieutenant Colonel serving as an intelligence officer and clearly sees why God led him in the way he did. I hope this story is helpful to you as you find yourself in the heat of parenting amid adversity.
You can do this, and God will help you!
— Pastor Eric